User talk:2022cstephens
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Applejack's Cupcakes page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Underscorre (talk) 14:13, February 15, 2015 (UTC) Blacklisted Subject Due to excessive similar posts, certain story elements are now blacklisted, or no longer allowed on this website. Please make note of this. Your post has been deleted due to being similar to previous posts. For more information on this, please read the rules. If you wish to post about these subjects, add them to Spinpasta Wiki or use the Spinoff Appeal. The first offense of this rule is only a warning, but a second offense will result in a ban. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again without admin authorization, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. | creepypasta.wikia.com | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] | Underscorre (talk) }} 15:25, February 15, 2015 (UTC) See what i told ya? SPINOFF!JIMARS (talk) 15:53, February 15, 2015 (UTC) MLP Please refrain from uploading anymore MLP stories: we no longer accept them. Thanks. Jay Ten (talk) 15:51, September 27, 2015 (UTC) Jay Ten (talk) 16:48, July 16, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:27, January 30, 2017 (UTC) Re: Story As you made an article page asking why your story was deleted, I thought I'd drop you this line and give my reasons for deleting the story. A majority of the issues fall on the plot itself and the numerous instances of awkward/clunky wording. Wording issues: "Cecilia then went into our parents' room where she was having her coffee (who was having coffee, why in the bedroom?). All of a sudden, we heard the slashing of a knife. (How exactly does the family hear a knife slash from rooms away when it's a relatively silent thing?)", "An evil soul is within her. I had to terminate it, but I could only terminate the evil in one way." (not only is this awkwardly worded, but it also feels like a massive leap for a character to make (sister is possessed, must murder her now), etc. Story issues: "He then pointed the gun at the fan and pulled the trigger. The fan crushed my sister." This feels very cartoon-esque. Why shoot the fan and not just shoot the girl? Why instantly come to the conclusion to kill the daughter in the first place? It feels really out-of-place for his first reaction to instantly be to murder his daughter. Even if she's committed a crime, it still feels forced given the father's interactions with her earlier. Story issues cont.: There is a lot of rushed content here and a majority of it is lacking the necessary detail to make it interesting. Lines like: "He stabbed himself and died instantly." and "Renée was then murdered by the soul of her own sister. A local farmer heard a scream, but when he walked over to the field, all he saw was blood-staine''d wheat. When he stared down at it, he heard Cecilia's voice. "Don't worry, she's here. She's just sleeping underneath the wheat. She needs to rest. She won't be coming back up."" feel extremely forced. Where did this random farmer materialize from? Why this focus on wheat without any real bearing on the story? It feels like you tried to wrap it up Story issues cont.: It feels like you're telling the audience all of these things and not really showing them. Tell the story through the character's actions, don't just come out and say it, not only does it weaken the story by stripping it of an opportunity to provide character insight, but it also saps interesting elements from the story. ("Every day, she shrieks from having flashbacks. Dad is still here. He's a total disaster now that Mom's gone.") Story issues cont.: The dialogue also needs quite a bit of work. It feels very unnatural and forced at times. Lines like: ""Mother," she said (in a suddenly demonic voice) "This cake. It is you. THIS CAKE IS YOU, DEAR MOTHER! IT IS MINE BECAUSE IT IS YOU!"" really showcase this. On an additional note, just describing a voice as demonic is not a good descriptor. What makes it sound demonic? Is it high pitched like nails scrapping on a chalkboard or is it low and deep like the rolling of distant thunder? It's a generic descriptor to use and really doesn't set a good mental image. Conclusion: I'm sorry, but there are a lot of story issues here as well as awkward wording that really result in this story being below our basic quality standards. As no revisions have been made, I'm turning down this appeal outright for the reasons listed above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:50, January 30, 2017 (UTC) Sorry The Deletion Appeal is where people go to post appeals for stories that they deleted. It is here, but you could also go to the search bar and type "Deletion Appeal". I am sorry. It was rude of me to put your appeal there. --Squidmanescape (talk) 06:20, January 30, 2017 (UTC)